my past wkend (thanksgiving wkend)

voted with glee for this was my 1st time participating in taiwan's voting system! wahaha right after, i headed home and waited for 宇婷 to come so we could take HSR. by the time we got at the destination - flora expo, it was... almost 12~ waited for like 20 min for the LIMITED lockers the expo provided. >< anyhow, like 爭豔館 the most! was a bit disappointed at the 未來館 & 天使生活館. 百合戀還不錯~

on mon i actually had a job interview at a cram school, but... it's probably aiming at the high-end customers/students, where the 'tutor' is one-on-one (特別指導), or 1-2. seriously come to a place where i need to make the decision as to where to go for my next move. GOD, show me the way...

met up w/ MH, JK, CC, SW and DW! ha what a great memory! =D

vaness wu!

ha duno what was on my mind, but... i dreamed of vaness last night~ lol ever since he became a Christian, and not just one ordinary but an impactful Christian, i knew i would support him always even just morally =D anyhow, was full of glee in the dream and as i was waking up. what was i doing in the dream? it might crack you up... but oh well, i was booking air ticket for him to fly somewhere?! was i his secretary? now i wonder what my role was. =p kk, enough of my silly daydream. i support you vanness! rock for Jesus!

change of my daily schedule

really wanna change and develop a better and healthier daily schedule... a decision made from yesterday's sermon. (: will try my very BEST to sleep by 11pm, and wake up at 7:30am, and do devotion and intercession. i wanna develop a deeper relationship cuz my Father longs to spend quality time w/ me. (: and make it my daily life's priority too! perhaps to change my eating habits as well... byproduct hehe

random...

thanks for friends who listen when I vent my frustrations... now's not the concern of 'letting go,' it's more of a self acceptance issue - knowing what i'm good at and what i'm not suitable at all, and seeing them accurately. i feel inferior in front of that person, and that's where the whole problem lies. and this led to more pressure points that bring out the ugly side of me, the insecure side of me, the worrying side of me. if i don't overcome, the same will occur and bother my relationships, and most importantly, i'm afraid this will disturb and interfere my future ministry. i admit i can't solve this with my small small brain, so Lord please intervene and gimme a heart of peace to encounter my lifelong plight - one i've always have difficulty facing and overcoming. no matter what the other person ends up choosing or becoming, i can still befriend, and bless those i subconsciously compete with....

姐姐提醒了我: "越來越明白 神的愛才會感到自己的不配得如此多的恩典"... so true! eyes on HIM!

my goal lately

一個最近想要學習到的生活態度 - when things don't go my way, i REJOICE!!! 之後下午查經班, 在查完後自己的應用也是類似: 歡歡喜喜忍耐! Yay, Jesus!

生命的蛻變 - 大惠弟兄分享

牧師帶團隊去香港參加特會, 所以這週是一個學校教授講道. guess what, his sermon was quite/more Bible-centered... and.. deep?! 不知道是因為是教授的關係嘛... 觀點&講道的方式會由個老師的角色切入. he used tons of scriptures as references to talk about Peter's life and his transformation point. one point of view he talked about that caught my attention was sth like: 即使耶穌在彼得的身邊, 沒有使彼得改變.... 彼得手曾在水中抓到耶穌的手, 看到耶穌行的神蹟, 等... 直到聖靈住在彼得的裡頭, 他才開始有改變的能力. 吸引到我注意的是他說彼得在聖靈來前, 即使有耶穌在身邊, 他的生命也沒有蛻變.... 他反問, 我們常要耶穌在我們身邊嘛? 但是讓我們改變的更是聖靈...  etc. 蛻變的生命用的經文是在Acts 3:6, 當彼得說: 金銀我都沒有, 只把我所有的給你, 我奉拿撒勒人耶穌基督的名, 叫你起來行走. 之後講到新約跟舊約的差別 - 石心跟肉心的差別 (Ezekiel 6:25-27), 過紅海 (Exodus 14:21-31) 跟過約旦河 (Joshua 3:1-17) 的差別 - 耶穌的死與復活使我得生, 聖靈的內住使我得勝.

我盼望不斷有生命的蛻變... 也在想, what was my life transformation point?! 好像沒有特別某一件事情整個改變我的生命方向... 從我一信主, 一認識到 神就是那位獨一的真神後, 我記得當時對於 神的一整個喜悅跟回應, 就這樣告訴自己: Jane, 真遇到了這位獨一的 神, 這麼好的一個 神, 妳一輩子都不要放手! 不論遇到什麼事, "重量"都不能與這位 神相比, 所以... 一件事務要記住的就是, 認定祂! 我也向 神禱告, 讓我一輩子都選擇祢! 唯一不能改變的就是, 決不放棄 神! 那大概是我覺得我生命最有智慧的一刻... 不只接受主, 我也立定心, 祂就是我生命一生的主! hopefully my life HAS and is STILL being transformed... 蛻變, 蛻變!!!

teaching kinders!

alright, i have to admit i wasn't interested nor thrilled in teaching kinders for the past few weeks... at first i thought i would take up the challenge and dealt w/ it w/o much difficulty as i took this job, but as one parent reacted after his son whined simply cuz there wasn't much games @@ and soon another grumble followed by the same parent, it irritated me......!! thought about my teaching skills (並不是懷疑自己教的能力, 而是面對跟教這麼小的小孩....!! 我覺得有點無趣, 挑戰不是我喜歡的) and even approached the superintendent stating that i could resign w/o grievance =p anyhow, thanks to her for giving me simply - the chance to try, 不要我擔心家長那邊... 希望我仍能嘗試, 不過如果真的不喜歡她也不勉強我.

其實上禮拜五教完後我很挫折... 特別是中/小班的. 其他老師進來, 或是經過, 應該都聽得到不是我呼喊要他們安靜坐下, 要不就是這群瘋狂的小孩已經完全out of control, 無視我的存在, 整個就是玩/講他們自己起鬨, 當下想要做的 @@ 不是我不兇 (學校老師覺得我沒有威嚴), 而是他們年紀小到連我生氣也不知道吧, 沒有在管的 >< 只有一兩個勉強會看臉色.... 也是會帶頭的... 總之, 那天騎車去教會真的很挫敗, 懷疑自己還有把戲可以拿出來教那本教了二個月多的小故事 >< 我知道這本跟在家裡父母教小孩是用不同的方法... 我知道這本書讓他滾瓜爛熟其實就等於學了很多句子等的... 我知道院長找故事來教的重要原因... 這些我都知道, 問題是他們根本不是用我想到的方式中, 可以認真學到的... honestly, they can easily break the simpliest rule in ALL games! 要站時就開始東晃西晃, 請小孩拿著紙時他們會開始丟紙... 坐下來圍一圈時會不聽我使喚的狂碰中間我說不准碰的cards, 連坐一圈都會兩三個打在一起, 捲在一起, 最後哭著喊"老師, 她/他撞到我" >< 或是A一直跟著B狂換位置, 明明B不想要A跟, 就是在躲他, A還是狂偷偷跟著... 祕密行動, 完全不管我在前面喊著他的名字5次有了吧 @@ *sigh~~~~ 但是大班就好超多的!!! 上禮拜五竟然有個小男生趁我在準備東西, 蹲在桌邊時, 他從我後面抱住我... 雖然其他小孩們在笑, 但是我知道他們的笑不是搞笑的笑~~ 那個男孩子也不是因為要惹同學們笑所以抱我... 而這個學生還是是班上數一數二的頑皮蛋之一!!! =p 當下我有點嚇到... 他的笑容好天真, 好開心.~ 結果, 另一個小男生竟也跑來抱我 - 而他就是之前跟他媽抱怨美語課無聊沒遊戲的孩子 @@ 當時我急著上課, 所以沒多想這兩個孩子.... 直到今天寫連絡簿時...  看到幾個學生家長回應的話, 我忽然覺得這幾個月的經歷..... 開始有果子了~! 那位抱怨的孩子家長, 有表明孩子較有興趣了, 再另一位皮的孩子, 直到今天看回去以前我寫的comments, 才發現他的態度跟學習有很大的進步!! 所以家長謝謝我的努力....~ 這位家長除了第一次她告訴我可以嚴厲叮她小孩如果他頑皮, 之後... 再也沒有任何feedback直到這次~ 另外有個本來就很認真的女孩子, 因為我上次多提了擔心她不太會跟頑皮的小孩相處而影響她以後交友的狀況 (有排斥皮的男同學的舉動), 理解的家長還謝謝我讓她知道... 這件事也讓我覺得有肯定~!! 畢竟家長也可以覺得老師怎麼這麼無聊, 連這種事也要雞婆... =p 恩, 開始看到跟孩子及家長們有更深的認識及關係.... 仍是比較喜歡大一些的孩子, 教起來比較有成就感, 也比較有回應跟互動. 不過... 也感謝 神我在上星期五的路上竟出奇的想到其他可以玩得遊戲來教那本故事書的內容!!! 感謝賜恩典跟創意的 神!!!!!!!! yes, 祢在沙漠中開江河!!!!!! Glory be to You!

國父誕辰

do people still celebrate this day? i duno... don't really feel the spirit of the festival ^^" but thanks to google for the remembrance (: 

Praise God for His protection!

on the high speed rail way home from taipei to tainan tonight, lina and i were sooo grateful seeing God's protection over us! as we stopped at our second to last station (chia-yi 嘉義), there was a sudden earthquake lasted for like... 15 sec. it was a bit strong as i felt the earthquake strikes.... and then, the corp must sense its effects and hence had to halt... until they got the railroad checked, i suppose. we waited..... patiently for .... 40 min? i duno, it was a long wait... thank God i wasn't alone to kill the time, and foremost the earthquake came when the rail was stopped........!!!!!!!!!!! i couldn't imagine how the situation would be if it was in operation... >< PTL for His protection... for unseen things... for He knew!

PTL i bumped into kate and mike unexpectedly. many surprises throughout the trip, and this is one of them. (: nice catch-up w/ tiff and louis too. thank You my Lord!

Passion-Christine Caine

i was incredibably, unexpectedly inspired by one of the godly women whom I've never known before this day... yet her life transformation was truly a living/walking testimony that demonstrated curses turning into blessings! It's sheer shock how she subtly revealed her past trauma without displaying any shame... Yet she as well hinted her pain and struggles over her experiences. I duno... It was a wooooooow moment for me... And a wakening moment, realizing how insusceptible I've become responding to God's love! I was convicted being numb... The passion isn't from the LIVING love nemore... It's not flowing from an authentic love. I praise God for reminding me, for stirring up my passion again, esp in Taiwan -sth I need to change and encounter in this particular culture. To really ponder on passion and career this time, I seriously came to a conclusion that I've always love doing - anything pertinent to church/God, shouldn't be hard to notice YET somewhat I've been blinded from seeing it straight. Exactly how I'll find the "dreamy" job, I lift up to You, and desire to do things out of a genuine and authentic love for You with all my strength and understandings. In Christ alone, I find my strength. Let my hope rest firmly on Christ alone!

purpose of Bible reading

last Sun was the 1st time i led Bible study in tainan. well, i brought in the mini-inductive Bible study method into the group, thought it went smoothly~ apparently, most attendees were not too much concerned about this method at 1st - my observation. i could feel the skepticism in the air; perhaps they weren't sure where i was going w/ these steps - observation, interpretation, correlation and application. but i felt more relieved at the end, i supposed cuz i sensed that by the time they departed, they felt being more informed of the scriptures, and that was my goal... my fulfillment. (: i seriously believe that nowadays Christians need to see Bible as it is, instead of backing our own theories w/ Bible as if Bible should support us and we're superior, or we thought we know better... i've seen a LOT of believers doing this w/ the Scriptures, and no wonder we see multiple, i mean... multitude, interpretations derived from the same verse and yet it's read as a complete contradiction and we thought that's normal, everyone's unique, we see Bible and interpret it differently is fine, as long as we feel we resonate w/ it.... 聖經不是拿來讀我們想要讀得, 解釋我們想要解釋的, 而是... 祂是標準, 是準則, 而我... 讀經者, 是每次讀時, 再次以祂為 神的準則, 來反省, 衡量, 調整我們的眼光, 思維, 行為是否有遵行. (: I love God's WORD! He's SUPERIOR~