沒有唯一

我越來越相信 神給的伴侶是沒有"那唯一的". 神給我們很多選擇的空間, 讓我們自己去決定. Um, grant me the wisdom & sensitivity to see & search for the right qualities in guys. 神給的跑不掉, 不是 神給的, 強求都得不到. 主啊, 在我看不清楚時, 求你帶領跟引導我, 即使是我在下意識做的決定, let it be from/blessed by You.


還是很開心收到他的信~ :) In my own reverie...

Submissive, Submissive, Submissive

"Submissive, submissive, submissive"... was the only reminder from the boards and PK before we departed. Though we've gotten it down and did practice it.. we still didn't have a full submission after the Nankai middle school's camp was over. However, I learnt that we're people lacking submission when we do not stay alert all the time. It's so easy to just slipped away and the next minute we knew it, we've been disobedient! Snap, just like that...


I felt like I learnt so much this yr in the camp. About unity, submission, loving and accepting one another despite of our differences in personalities, working styles, cultures, habits and just about everything! The only thing that ties us together is because we all fear God and are willing to change because of Him. I sensed the humility in their hearts and so I saw the changes and truly admiring them. Thank God for a wonderful team, Stephanie, Benson, Ray, Jordan, Rosalyn, Jessica, Abraham, Christina, Catherine, Kindra, Andy, Jeff, Michael, Jet, and me (of course, also Julia Ayi, Uncle Alan, Steven and Dennis). Praise GOD that we resolved everything... I really wanna carry the submission and unity that I see among us back to the states. I hope that I'll remain sensitive always trying to stay in submission and unity w/ my brothers and sisters... always learn to have a good character as a good leader. Keep using the characters that I taught the kids to be a good leader as well. Seriously.. what we taught was so meaningful and practical to me as well. :)


LOVE is beyond all the talents we can ever have, I pray that I'll always have love before all corrections, judgments, critiques and avoidance. Um, maybe it is possible to train anyone to be disciple of His. I've often thought that connections, chemistry between people play a more crucial role in terms of making closer relationships w/ those who I wanna build bonding with, or even do discipleship with... maybe not so now. It's a determination, whoever you see has the passion to grow, has a humble heart, who you decide to disciple on. The key is... do you love to see them achieve higher than where you are? I found myself relieved.. when I discovered this. The core issue is about our love for others. Lili reminded me 我們要擔當別人的重擔. 這是要出於愛他人的心, 而不是只因為我們頭腦知道是耶穌的吩咐. 發現人真的很容易只關注自己的需要... 主啊, 謝謝祢憐憫我們... 求改變我的心, 讓我給時是出於愛他人.. a willing heart and giving hands.


I don't want to be in a backward prison... I want to set myself free from all the bitterness and jealousy, Lord, empower me to continue walking in Your grace.

Finished!

The camp has successfully finished. I felt a little of relieved and sad... I miss my boys from class, such as Dennis, Daly, William, and Ian. 能力到哪就做到哪吧... 我不能用別人的標準跟程度來衡量自己的. 這裡的孩子覺得我很兇.. which is true I guess, 是我的問題嗎? 有時我真的不知道怎麼跟某些孩子應對. Oh well... Lord, may Your grace fall liks rain on me. I'll humble myself and be humble of being who I am.

 

We're heading back on 22nd, somewhat I wish to fly back tomorrow... can't go back to Taiwan this summer, sorry mom, dad and bro...

Ahhhhhh!!

So not ready for tomorrow's closing ceremony.. felt like I did such a bad job coordinating it >< The seating arrangement is always killing me.... I think I might freak out playing piano. When you see this, please do 'p' for me... if I got friends there reading this entry.

 

2 meetings when we get back... I really just wanna take a LONG break after going back HOME. What's the problem?! Feeling stressed... frustrated, and... alone.

Countdown ... 2 more!

We taught kids "Breaking Free" today, most of them have heard the song from "High School Musical." I really love my kids.. today, I "p" for them while they were preparing the role plays, simply GLAD! I still feel inadequate to build a closer relationship w/ them for some weird reasons.. I'm just not that clingy to them, so do they.

 

I really wanted an ice cream today, but.. Michael said that we ain't allowed to go out. I just felt like eating something salty... don't wanna have more sweets such as candies. Possibly I'll be losing some weights.. been not eating much due to our limited food once when we decided to dine in the teacher's lounge. 16 students...

 

I've practiced "Awesome God" several times throughout the week, still afraid of it though =p I crave for Korean food, yogurt, tea, and... just some tasty FOOD!!!!!!! :)

3 More Days of Camp

It's kinda impossible to not have any favorites, but I try to be fair treating every student in my class. I can't imagine the days w/o them now... Helen, Jenny, Kevin, Shirly, Nick, Alex, Dennis, Daly, Mary, Lily, David, William, Ian, Joel, Kubby and Sue. I love my students... the boys are really cute and sweet - well, most of them. Anyhow, we finished our 6th day today, 3 more days to go and... closing ceremony. I'm playing a mimi recital for the closing ceremony (beginning 5 min of the ceremony from 3-5pm), hopefully I won't freak out >< "P" for me when you see this... :)

2nd Day of CQ Camp 2009

So far the camp has been a success! At first I thought that the kids' Eng. level was quite low and their reactions were simply SLOW and unresponsive. Yet today, 2nd day of camp & 1st day of teaching curriculum, my class turned out to be fun!! I guess speaking more Chinese hoping to get the content clear to them was the main reason to make them finally feel connected w/ me and Jeff. Else.. everything was just so behind when they didn't understand what we were saying and they just stared at us or giving us blank faces =p Role play also benefited greatly, I can feel that they're bonding together after the music time and skit :)

 

"We're the Champions" was a blast!!! Kids love it. So do I :)

 

Btw, I had the worst diarrhea ever.. woke up twice in the night and ... >< Lord, help me to sleep well, including no wake up at night and no backaches from the sleep.

:)

So... we're starting our opening ceremony tomorrow MORNING at 9am! Luckily we were finally able to move in our luggages and supplies to the teacher's lounge and dorms. The dorms looked soo nice, the school has prepared so much for us - basins, soaps, water, etc... just a lot of stuff =) So.. will be busy for the next 10 days w/o much time to blog >< I thank God that I felt trust in my accountability group that I was able to share the deepest thoughts in my heart and... wept =p Anyhow, I thank GOD for being so real that He is the One who helps us to adjust and live Him out! I thank GOD for a great team... though we're so different in culturally, we're willing to sacrifice something out of the love for others! :)

Plan Changed

We were gonna start our summer camp on Tue, but... the gov. found out that school has allowed to have us teach w/o quarantined for at least 7 days and was worried, thus they postponed our class one day off and have the school's doctor to come to examine and check up our temperature everyday. SO.. right now we're still freeing up everyday, eat, sleep, prepare, hold meetings and that's it! ^^" I felt so not in a teaching mode... after so many days roaming around =p

I still wish the boards decide to send us back after the camp's over, seriously, I wanna save money for BH and secretly wishing that I could go back to Taiwan for a little while :) I've been quiet... feelings mixed. Gotta wake up early tomorrow, hope we'll be super ready!!!!!! ^^ God, I want YOUR presence!!

Thoughts Be4 I Head to CQ

After talking to my brother, I felt knowing my future direction a bit clearer :) Uncertainty.. is crucial in accomplishing what God wants us to do. Sometimes we feel so tempted to quickly grasp the path we're comfortable with, and often presume that it's the best way out.. but, it might NOT be the path God wants us to take - we choose out of efficiency, level of comforts, just simple way out. 昨天在禱告會, 因為我們去重慶的行程臨時的更改, 關牧師強調我們的態度.. 是重點, 不是這些用世俗的眼光來看的確會讓人有抱怨的改變. 我開始覺得後兩個禮拜的行程反倒才是這次旅程的climax, 才是明白這次 神藉著大環境的問題想要讓我們看見的. I'm so excited of this change now. I pray that I'll love Chinese, specifically, 重慶人, more.. instead of constantly focusing on my ability or myself, and also to love those ABC teammates that I go with more, 要不然, 我也可能會因著他們太隨意, 會總是用美國的standard/environment來比較而抱怨的口而產生不合一.


Be a watchman.. be alert, be a unity bridge, are reminders repeatedly mentioned to me by many adults... Lord, let Your Holy Spirit be my only strength, and I desire to experience this yr's trip differently than all the ones I've gone to. Let my heart be calm and always know that You are in control when unexpected situations arise throughout the trip. 今天無意中看了本書, 又看到2 Cor. 7:10. 愛的情感是【依著 神的意思憂愁】, 世俗的憂愁是愧疚, 是【叫人死的】. I give praise and thanksgiving to You, the Lord Almighty!