Thursday, January 27, 2011

週年慶帶出來的..... 許多想法

話說這次我去參加個教會的週年慶... 其實真的是替他們所帶出來的"影響力"是聽起來覺得不錯... 然而, 當我坐在位置上聽著台上的MC, 或是其他牧者們的"祝福"... 我其實小小捏把冷汗. 怎麼說呢... 只能以我目前的認知跟瞭解 - 暫且分析為『教會受社會上對"成功"的定義影響太深』, 以至於把教會"增長"的"成功"劃上於教會的大小, 小組長/區長的多寡等為教會的"成功"是否. 對我而言, 這真的很可怕.....

另外, 當天... 說真的, 我從頭到尾開始聽到站在台上的人 (regardless if they were pastors, reverends, announcers, or MC) 任何在台上講話的人 (雖然每個教會的流程不同, 但這天是慶祝週年, 所以可想而知除了牧師外, 還有很多人之前在台上說話/報告等) 都沒有講到"榮耀歸與 神"~! 真的..... 這點是讓我最最傻眼的 @@ 因為... 這會不會太business-like? 都是聽到像是恭喜貴教會... 感謝大家的參與... 感謝大家過往的努力, 都是因為你們... 此教會過去這幾年在台灣教會界帶出的影響力.... 牧師成為許多教會的領袖.... 甚至有牧師誇此教會牧師為"國家的英雄人物/政治人物"等...... 我可以看到其他教會或是代表此教會感謝會友及熱切鼓勵的心, 但是... 真的沒什麼人將至高的榮耀歸給 神~! 甚至是從影片中出於其他牧者的口, 我也沒聽到. 這點讓我真的滿痛心的.... 是否不知不覺中我們都漸漸倚賴自己的能力勝於看到 神的恩典與保守使我們能走到如今的光景? 沒將最當得的榮耀歸給至高者? 不過好加在主任牧師上台後第一句就有說感謝 神, 榮耀歸給 神, 雖然只是短短一句... >< 連表妹近年來不常參加主日的, 一開始聽到講員的開場白也說客套話很多... there's a fine line between 'celebrating a milestone in joy with all the saints' and 'praising people for the glory of whatsoever just about the atmosphere...'.

也為了迫切得到這個"成功定義"下的期望"人數", 教會會定下"目標" - 要有小組長200位, 區牧xx位, 區長xx位等. 牧師說到8件事是希望未來幾年看到的, 甚至最後牧師說: "讓我們禱告至少這8件事, 在2005年前能成就".. i wonder, are we setting the goals and 'forcing' God to accomplish what we want? not that i don't see eye to eye with the mission to save the lost souls... but how do we/people, as leaders, instead of 'manipulating' the power we have (SO many believers under the leader) and trying so hard to match up with the megachurches, thinking that THEY have the better strategy to "make disciples"... but neglect the fact to steadily leading people to Christ with the church's own cultures; not going after only quantity, but quality as well? it's like - we ask and plead God for what we want, trying to speed up what we might not yet 'capable' of, just so we look good from the outside, or make people feel we ARE in progress... doing sth tangible that you can hold on to...

i was half appalled by the crowd's unity... not that it's entirely a bad thing, i also hope that the leader is leading with a servant heart.... because i truly believe that disciples are made/trained, not born... but on the right path. their unity just made me quiver... i agree that most 'famous/well-known' pastors somewhat have charisma, but this doesn't make him/her the 'only say... final say.' 因為講得東西很重要... 如果弟兄姊妹只習慣說"amen", 那是否都不能質疑或表意見嗎?

前幾天聽到王霖牧師說, 他在台灣牧會學到的許多事, 其中一樣是, 每個人一生會遇到很多"老師", 但只會有一個真正的"屬靈老師"... 一個真的不在利益下告訴你什麼是最好的, 最中肯的建議... 想想, 我真是認同他所分享的...! 他說以前他以為跟不同人接觸, 以為只是那一段時間對他的幫助的, 可能會以當時的觀點 (特別是教會的需要) 來輔導他... 但他現在發現, 要用 神整個大國度的眼光來輔導一個人... 真的對這人有益, 真正能幫助他在屬靈生命上成長的建議. i thank God for my previous cell group leader, who has subtly taught me this 2-3 years ago when i was under her leadership. i couldn't really pinpoint what made her different from all my previous leaders before.. now i do. she has a heart for God's kingdom... not for her or the church's benefits, but... for Christ's. and even now, we're in different continents.. yet i still trust her and ask for her advice on things.. cuz i know she cares, wherever i am, whatever i do. more than a friend, she's a spiritual support to me! (:

alrighty... enough of this... i ask God for mercy on me, to bear with patience and with hope... because i know God cares more than i do, and He sure has His ways of handling this... my part is to be humble, pray as He prompts me to, and ... walk with integrity whenever i got reminded by the Holy Spirit for my own blind spots... thanks for not quitting on me, Lord. You are my God! and i will worship You alone....

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

China Airline Movies Dec. 2010 & Jan. 2011

Dec. 27th while i was flying from Taipei to LA, watched quite a few GREAT ones:

- The Switch (Starring Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman and Patrick Wilson)

- The Christmas Carol (Starring Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman and Colin Firth) have heard and saw this old film back in high school in my English class; though is out relatively older (2009), i've longed to watch this version for ages.... so praise God i did!!! *totally depicted the "spirit" of Christmas! strongly recommended =D

- Despicable Me (Starring Steve Carell, Jason Segel and Russell Brand) one of my wanna-watch list. frankly, i was a bit irritated by the 'thief'.... being skeptical about how the film could feature a 'thief' into anything hopeful XD nevertheless, it bolstered up my spirit entirely seeing how the love growing between them have changed this Gru's (thief) life! awesome! i have to say... i LOVE the educational themes behind 'most' american animations in which they are edifying and enlightening, not to mention its creativity intertwined! being a sensible person like i am, i was really moved to tears...... -like-

- Eat, Pray, Love (Starring Julia Roberts, James Franco, Javier Bardem) i like the ideas overall, but not so agree with the 'belief' part ^^"

- Going the Distance (Starring Drew Barrymore, Justin Long) only half way through....

Jan. 12th on the way back from LA to Taipei, the options were not as tempting, or maybe i didn't know as many... so less options to choose from.

- Life As We Know It (Starring Katherine Heijl, Josh Duhamel) hilarious... and get to really know how much attention a child demands!

- Good Morning, President (a korean movie) love it! quite meaningful~!

Friday, January 14, 2011

new journey in 2011!

so i'm back from LA... everyday was just hustling w/ to-do-list. pack, meet-ups, sleep, pack, meet-ups, sleep.. my everyday tasks. thank God i saw pretty much all the friends i could see (if i had a car i might be able to see more... but w/ my time constraint, this is already good enough else there's no way i could pack all that i did), ate all that i've longed for - 3 korean meals (明凍, 小祕密處, 跟草堂), 2 souplantations, 2 in-n-out, 2 thai food (coconut bay & coconut station), 1 cheesecake factory, 1 japanese food (ninja), 1 hong kong (garden), 2 dolphin bay, 1 pinkberry yogurt, NO half-half-tar >< argh~ my mom and cousin think i've gained weights...... aphem... tmr's cousin's wedding, nothing i could hide at this moment now.

so glad to catch up w/ old friends..... and being totally reminded of my love for Jesus. re-kindled the fire for Him... so much need to adjust~! but i praise God for those godly friends who're there to remind me, be with me.. and intercede for me. thank God for all caring friends.... i hope i'll reap what i sow in His goodness.... <3 You, Jesus!

Friday, January 7, 2011

2008...

2008年王霖牧師 (那時仍是傳道) 來向"但以理"社青的弟兄姊妹分享/教導有關婚姻... 他當時要我們寫下五點我們個人覺得為何要結婚, 跟找伴侶的五個主要條件.... 2011年, 一月6日 (thur) 的這天整理到這張紙... 看著我覺得當時頭腦還滿清醒的... lol

五個我覺得為何要結婚的理由:

1. 婚姻是 神賜的 2. 生養眾多的命令 3. 一人獨居不好 4. 更像耶穌.... (through "suffering" & "sacrifice" - i still believe =p) 5. natural desire (是吧?!)

五個我覺得看重的qualifications:

1. 個性compatible!!!!! (個人希望互補多) 2. 欣賞我 (of course.... but i mean, 全方面的 =p) 3. 接納我的缺點/不足 (strongly believe so) 4. 願意服事 神 (even if not being entitled to.... i believe in workplace believers!) 5. attractive to me... (至少我也要欣賞到可以尊重吧! =D)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

prayers that i've experienced God in my earlier journey

1. 小組組長的retreat was on 7/26, 27. 因為maggie要來本來無法去.. even anticipated maggie to change her flight.. prayed, and then edwin announced that the retreat postponed! oh yeah!

2. Shawn C本來要搬到Texas... I prayed, even fasting for a week on lunches... and he stayed in CA~!

3. 升11th grade's summer school, 很不希望在diamond bar high... cuz i got no friends there.. after praying about it, ended up enjoying the nice school with great facility, had a nice teacher and met greats friends... was U.S. history class!

4. Sharon Sze's mom's was kinda going to this buddhist retreat... volunteering for a wk or so, prayed.. and then she cancelled. don't know why but i knew it was God's work! (:

5. been afraid leading cell worship, for the 1st time leading w/ Amy, prayed hard for Holy Spirit and even for a long long time... and then the worship was wonderful! everyone said so, and i think it's God's work too, not me! (:

6. Hank's always wanted to experience miracle so he could know that there's only one God - Jesus. on that Fri we prayed for him to experience that... and on the coming Sun, his sister Kathy got baptized, and he was filled w/ the Holy Spirit... hands raised, and tears fell, feet numbed while worshipping... and so he baptized on that day too!!

7. a while ago, mormons been coming... i had to pray for it cuz dad and even more kinda found their fondness in this.... but after a short period of time, they didn't come at all! praise God~

8. 很多次晚上禱告 神自己叫我起床... 那陣子是暑假, 早上6:50am, 下午2pm or 3pm nap time, 神一定準時叫我... XD! He's faithful to us... forever! hallelujah~ up to here: dated 7/24/97

9. maggie sat.要去disneyland, 為她禱告天氣能夠涼一點... prayed for fri, sat & sun... 結果雖然我沒有去, 三天天氣都很涼爽~ (: 7/26/97

10. 7/24/97 和Betty, Amy去Vineyard Music Conference, 正當我在前面 (因為講員叫29歲以前的都去前面) 有人幫我禱告後, 又開始唱歌時... 有個念頭想要更釋放時.. 旁邊就有人叫我跟Betty要一起dance & jump up and down... =p

11.7/27/97 主日後受感動要去前面禱告... 陳德俊牧師為我禱告, vivian也為我耳朵長痘子禱告.. 後來就好很多了 - 真是年輕時的感恩事件 ^^

12. 7/28/97 去universal studio見maggie... wore the contact lenses that i haven't wore for ages... and prayed that my eyes won't get red.. and they didn't! (:

13 . there wasn't enough lunch bentos because the tourist guide said that he didn't know i was coming... else he would prepare one for me, but after a while... he said there's one extra!!! lol praise GOD! God prepared for me! (: all His work yay~

14. i share so many testimonies with maggie, and as i was leaving, she told me that she would buy a Bible after arriving Taiwan, yay!

15. as i left to universal on 28th, i wasn't sure if there's an exam on 29th.. prayed, and didn't bother to ask classmates... and the next morning, knew that the test's on 30th! hooray~!

16. 8/3 Sun, went to New Port Beach w/ cell friends, and Edwin somehow wasn't behind us... Shawna reminded us to pray.. and immediately, 國晏 cried out that his bro's next to us... and indeed, he was! our God is faithful and trustworthy! (:

17. 宜鎂 (現叫亦庭) 的夢想本來是在她一直熱愛的舞蹈系... 但卻得面對自己不愛的環境, 很複雜的掙扎... 我為她禱告, 在她來美之前, 及回去之後... 回台後, 她8.17收到她的信說她一回台, 有種莫名的感動不考舞蹈系了.. 願意走別的系~~ 但仍學舞. well, i'm glad God chose the way for her... i believe God's doing something... set her road for her even before she accepts Christ. amen! 8/17/97

18. 3/21/99聽到的見證.. 一個瞎子, 不知道他有天是走進個教會... 忽然... 在敬拜時, 他忽然大叫: "God, damn it....~!" 因為.... he was able to SEE with his eyes!!!!!! (: what a miracle!

19. people are weeping.. when being asked what they were crying about.. they said: the Holy Spirit was touching them.. (:

20. 說預言的人能預言.... XD pastor steven 當時剛在朋友家洗完澡... a prophet came to his friend's house and said, "bring your hawaii's friend over.. and tell him to dry his hair." XD

21. 5/28/99 關牧師早在兩年前就跟pauling發預言說我跟amy會喜歡上同一個男生... @@ awesome! although i'm heartbreaking.. but God's awesome!

22. 有感動想禁食禱告為sidney.. 只是有點試著... sophie建議我就只是禱告.. 有去luna或accounting教室... sidney是去籃球場... 這天確定了, sidney交bf了!

23. 前陣子有禱告想要教小孩鋼琴... 後來Carol說要Jesse學... 有點害怕, 但我想是 神帶來的... 要我學... patience or.. English? XD anywayz.. thank God!

24. 帶小玉和莉雯做決志禱告 (7/15), 最先的兩個得著.. yeah!!!!

25. 在韶恩面前有做謝飯禱告, 希望是個接觸的開始~

26. 和小玉, 雯, 甚至跟婷說了很多VOH & 神的事~! 7/30/99

27. 感謝主, 看到小組們的見證 (11/27/99) 感恩節的分享:

amy: 感謝神, 今年讓我體會到很多弟兄姊妹的愛, 好讓我將 神的愛更多傳遞給別人~

Paul: 感謝神, 讓我深深知道離了祂, 我不能過"分別為聖"的生活~

Penny: 感謝神, 教導我更懂得體貼我的家人.~

Jordan: 感謝神, 使我學到何時親近 神, 就何時得到喜樂的泉源~

Frank: 感謝神, 讓我認識一群可愛的弟兄姊妹, 使我能以真誠的心待人~

Charlie: 感謝神, 時時聆聽我的禱告, 使我經歷祂的愛與憐恤.~

Vivian: 感謝神, 讓我來到小組, 讓我能夠更寬恕其他人的過錯~

Jason W.: 感謝神, 今年帶領我到這充滿生氣的青春家族, 讓我不再孤單寂寞.~

小Jack Liu: 感謝神, 讓我感覺到 神的愛, 因為我在小組看見 神對我的愛~

Jason Y: 感謝神, 給我們機會在學校開一個Christian Club, 為主發光!

Connie: 感謝神, 聖靈在我身上有很多奇妙的工作~

Vicky: 感謝神, 賜我智慧, 讓我更懂得如何與人交往~

Tiffany Chu: 感謝神, 讓我來到小組, 感受到 神的愛, 讓我更會關心別人~

Joe: 感謝神, 讓我來到青春家族, 感受到 神的同在~

Auntie Diana: 感謝神, 祂有很多的恩典! (11/30/99 wrote....)

Monday, January 3, 2011

childhood piano pieces

整理房間東西時, 看到更多兒時的鋼琴歌曲... (:

- les petits animaux de la foret 森林的動物, music by Paul de Senneville and Olivier Toussaint 





- lettre a ma mere 給母親的信, music by paul de senneville and olivier toussaint 





- voyage a venice music 潘德拉之旅, music by same artists as above 





- vienna-march 維也納進行曲

-  la reine de saba 莎芭女王, music by M. Laurent 





- les premiers sourires de vanessa 微笑的巴奈沙 





- love story 愛的故事 





- spinning song 織紡之歌 





- blue balloon 悲傷的潔烈米 



and piano only: 





- rondo pour un tout petit enfant 兒童的輪旋曲 music by Paul de Senneville 





- murmures 夢中的鳥 music by Paul de Senneville 





- mariage d'amour 夢中的婚禮 music by Paul and Olivier