Thanksgiving

一年一度的感恩節又到了; 媽咪不在家裡就沒有party了. Jack上次跟Paul來時還問我今年會不會在我家聚集, 他還offer說要買火雞過來 ^^" Sorry lo Jack~

假期期間我還是努力的趕作業, 不過今晚會在溫馨的王媽媽家過節. 數算 神的恩典... I offer my thanksgiving to YOU. *Happy bday to Oscar!

U.S. Medical System...

My eyes got so irritated for many days already. Dry eye symptoms did not improve even after I increased the frequency of rewetting drops; actually, it got worse! 我媽咪很爽快地叫我去給醫生檢查 *以前總覺得她很不喜歡我一不舒服就提想看醫生, 這次她豪爽地主動提起, 還真嚇到我~ 但是有感到被愛的感覺 lol So I quickly made an eye appointment, too disappointing that my school insurance does not cover vision *nor is dental I think >< The doctor was really nice and professional, but I just cannot understand U.S. medical system at all!!


Why are they so expensive? Tacq once told me that it's NOT that hard to be a doctor, but it is SUPER difficult to BECOME one. Maybe THAT is the reason, but still..... still... can only rich people receive medical? That's the message I got. Anywayz... the eye exam was $69, not including a prescription doctor gave me. So this is where the absurdity that triggered me to write this entry - I was being requested to purchase this tiny little eye drop thing that Dr. Chen said any pharmacy store would carry it. On my way to school, I stopped by at Albertsons' Sav-on pharmacy... waiting for like 15-20 min to obtain this. The price shocked me a bit (I assumed it to be less than $10), so I just randomly asked for its original price before deducted from my insurance coverage and I sure was dumbfounded by the cost she told me! It was... $100 something!!! @@ Seriously, this minute bottle was 5.5 cm (I just measured it) and 5 mL! Alright, I guess my eyes are SO important! Thank God I am not allergic to any of its ingredients (or haven't found out yet?) & was valid for its prescription coverage. =)


不打算跟我爸媽提看眼睛花的錢, 就在這小替美國居民伸個冤... 醫療費別這麼貴啊!

When I'm Hyper...

When I get hyper, I talk nonsense.... it is something that bothers me from time to time. I really don't like this part of me... in which I know what I say might bluntly sound unintelligent and inconsiderate. We say things out of our minds.. I admit that my mind is so imperfect and ungracious. Argh, do I have a secure environment where I can grow with patience? Maybe I should try to discipline myself, but it's so hard! I felt bad for what I said tonight; Amy even said that I was talking crazily that she got shocked 2................. ah, really?! 淑女的形象好像離我好遠... 我也不是一定要當淑女, 可是太瘋狂亂講話的形象真的不是我要的! *大聲的OS~ Well, 有朋友說, "阿這就是Jane啊!" Some people said this w/ complete acceptance and magnanimity, but some carried this phrase with resistance, or hardship?! WAY's atmosphere is sooo different from Daniel. I feel I don't belong to either group lately. What's gotten into me? I duno. I wish I knew the answers to all my questions.


Esther Xiao had her huge 21 bday party tonight at her house. 21 is absolutely an age that worths to be celebrated. *Happy Bday Esther! =) I think I had a great party for my 21 too... can't really recall the last time I gathered people to celebrate w/ me on my bday. Not that I don't care anymore, but I feel the responsibilities come more attached year after year as I celebrate. The impression got me unnerved. I hope I discover myself more each day, and I will come to accepting who am I either by changing myself or loving the way I am. Age comes with maturity, I want to be matured in every way. May Your Words teach me and transform me in light of Your cross and grace!

清醒

最近忙到出門只是為了去上課, 買家用或日需用品, 就醬, 所以傍晚可以稍微和朋友逛個化妝品, 邊吃邊閒聊, 是一大享受! 跟TK真的太少hang out了, 所以話題超多地~ 她問了個沒有到不舒服的話題, 只是... 在另一個層面, 某方面我還是希望圈子不會碰在一起. I don't dislike people easily; I try not to judge, after all, we choose our own friendships. 說到這, 今晚認識個我覺得有氣質的姊姊, 我想我跟Kate都能跟她成為好朋友 *哈! 就個直覺~ I do want to get to know more musicians... lol


文化不同的人真的很難認識及相處吧? 理智上我是明白, 可是總也會有exceptions. 姊總算直率的說出了她的看法, 我是滿訝異的, 平時聽她給建議時並沒有這麼直接... 看來她是真的要告訴我: NO! Alright, why am I still awake? And still home alone? =p 看來有人為了感恩節的活動粉是努力錄影~~

Death Provides Meaning...

Categories: Grief, Death


Had the privilege to be educated on helping with the grief process. Everyone is unique, so everyone experiences grief in a unique way. No timeline for grief, and after one loses his/her beloved ones, they'll become grievers. At some point in life, we all become grievers. Feelings can be extremely complex... I learn not to say "I know how you feel...." or try to alleviate one's pain. Give them space and time.


After visiting the Forest Lawn Memorial Park/Mortuary (forestlawn.com), *a very good association, even though it's huge and appears to be expensive, it's reasonable* last night I dreamed of my grandpa (外公). 我夢到牽著他的手, 讓他倚靠著走路, 就好像今年暑假去泰國玩時那樣. 然後我跟他說, "阿公, 我以後要叫我先生這樣扶著你走", 阿公就笑笑. He's the only living grandparent I have... I think I can never really know what he had gone through in my grandma's unexpected death years ago. I don't want to be all optimistic about the meanings he probably saw in my grandma's life changes or even her death although I know it is significant. There're just so much more sophisticated factors that I'll never comprehend in their relationships. But there're perhaps things I can do with my limited ability. Lord, I cry out for his salvation in You!


今年奶奶過世, 在台灣有時我的感覺是麻木的, ... 我不敢去感受感覺. It was a comfort hearing different reactions from the pastor. Everyone who knows how to love knows how to grief. I thank God for what I have.

Apocrypha

Categories: Scripture


I got to read Apocrypha the first time ever in my life in my Biblical Interpretation class. So what is "Apocrypha"? It is from the Greek word ἀπόκρυφα, any collection of scriptural texts that falls outside the canon (Wikipedia). I think Catholics still use it (total of 6 volumes) as their secondary scriptural readings. Even thought the authenticity of the writings is questionable, I thought maybe the knowledge could be thought provoking and who knows, it might possibly even be good for scripts?! =p At least that's the feeling I got tonight when I was reading this portion of the apocrypha written on "Bel and the Dragon." It comprises of 3 different modified parts of the Bible stories which are the 70 priests of Bel, the dragon, and Habakkuk who helped Daniel who were being thrown into the lion's den, into this tale.


As a class, the professor wanted us to select one out of the four possible key phrases that most explain the structural relationship. I thought the answer was obvious... but when we were walking to different corners representing our choices, I was sooo shocked that I was alone at the back of the corner which I thought the answer was. So we got three corners all stood up by one person whereas one corner was packed with five people. Turned out that I got the correct answer! lol The professor jokingly stated that the only female student in class got it right! =)

Maybe I'm somewhat trained in Chinese cultures to easily identify the 'correct answer'... but anyhow, I think the concept of evangelism/conversion is embedded deeply inside of me that it just captures my heart right away. The problem with the tale was revolved around the king who doesn't seem to believe that God is God and even publicly professed that there's no deceit in Bel. Thus when he finally claims that there's no one like our living God, this is such a pivot... a turning point in his life that I can't help but evidently claim that this is the key phrase!! Well, in actuality, Daniel's reputation was another clue; sth I didn't pick up before Debbie mentioned it.


There're so many books that I wanna dig into once when I'm not as occupied as I am now. I really began to fall in love with theologies. The Words of God are so profound and RICH! =)

Happy bday Kari!

You're almost 3 yrs younger than me... ah, still young! =) Happy bday to ya.

Evacuation.

"什麼? Selah已經要evacuate了? 不是離我們家也很近嘛?" 加州乾燥, 山上一燒就一發不可收拾, firefights也進不去救火啊!~~ 我跟表妹們連奔回家, 準備packing. 打個電話給威達叔叔後就決定... 稍微打包一下, 可是沒想動了. 不要再燒了..... Father God, we need rain here in Southern California! Hear our prayers....

辛苦了, firefighters! Protect them, Father.

Thoughts from Class - Safe Church Environment & Sexual Education

I really like this Pastoral Servant Leadership class, primarily because Dr. Muthiah teaches so well! He's such a wise and exemplary professor; one whose behavior & preach is equivalently reflected like an ordained clergy! *Maybe he is?! I really like his teaching style; shows how much effort he puts into the curriculum.


We talked about how to teach smart people to learn, because well-educated people do not experience much failures. Their educations and successes have built into this defensive reaction that when challenge comes, they automatically shut down their learning system and tend to blame on others and thus are not learning at times where they need it the most. This was described in a business setting in the article, but it applies to even the churches we have today. How perfect and ideal do the churches seem like, yet is this safe for congregations to allow mistakes? Do the churches transparent enough to accept/admit people's vulnerabilities, including leaders like pastors, worship leaders, deacons or just anyone? And how would the congregations' responses be? I'm not sure how much does this apply to Chinese churches like mine, but I began to see & exam more and deeper if we're fostering a safe environment for people to accept who they are, where they are and the space they can grow into.


Sexual education is quite a no-talk topic in church, but I felt more concerned about it than before. Sexual harassment is often a huge issue in the States but not quite so in Asia. Am I becoming too Americanized? Yet I'm more conscious about it now. Ask for permission before I hug, is at least one step that I'll work toward to. Give people the option to say 'no' is a great way to help others setting the boundaries, at least I believe is so helpful and necessary for the children! =)

Pressure... less

Category: About.... me!


媽咪誇獎小鳳姐這我真是可以理解的, 因為小鳳姐真的活在個很知足的生活中.... 雖然已經30多了 *Sorry, 報料了 ^^" 但是能靠著 神, 即使還沒遇到好的對象, 也能享受地過單身生活. 愛姪子們, 照顧爸媽及家人親戚, 又天天喜樂.... 我想我現在缺乏的就是知足吧~ 常會默默地希望我的伴侶趕快出現! =p 已經有兩個朋友因為看到我facebook之前抱著Isabel的照片, 而以為我已經結婚生子了 @@ 我是希望啊~~ 可是, God has a better timing, and obviously it's later than what my agenda is.


其實跟喜歡的人在一起, 我是木訥的.... 是呆呆的. This sounds ridiculous, but... I have realized. 是要聽聽我哥的建議, 好好再次思想我的伴侶條件 - they've been neglected for a while, but I surely will pick it up again... praying about it.


知足 & be joyful! I'm pressure-less!


Btw, despite of my hectic schedule I still find time to blog... cuz... I need fresh air! & also good for pressure relief lol

Find Out Your Spiritual Gifts

Category: Church, Ministry Strength

About almost two yrs ago, Jonathan had Cornerstoners who were in Lillian & Peter's group to do a spiritual gift test, which I found to be interesting and helpful (the paper is still nailed up on my wall today) to see where I'm good at and perhaps could build up on that. Way before that, I've done at least once with this kinda test in Oikos LONG time ago! As I'm doing my philosophy of leadership paper today, I looked up online and saw a link that provides free test. About half way through, I thought it was gonna take a long time and even thought of quitting, but... thank God I sticked to the end. Contains a total of 108 questions, kinda gives good general directions of what spiritual gifts you might have from the Lord. The result was slightly different from the one I took before, mainly because the categories were set up differently. I don't know how many categories in total, but I think it does not divide up as in depth as the one I did before. For this time the top two I got were evangelism & serving =).

For those who want to discover/confirm your spiritual gifts, here's the link: http://www.churchgrowth.org/analysis/intro.php

.

I just couldn't believe people would bluntly say that President Bush is the worst president of all in presidency... 不然你來當當看.... #@$&*()$(*&#@)%(*&#@%)(#*&

隨意寫

現在打電話回家就像是開心的孩子... 聽到媽咪的聲音很滿足, 知道自己不是孤單的. 今晚我有莫名的難過... 覺得自己很怪, 覺得很難被了解, 覺得... 是不是我的問題. 媽咪的心總是向著需要的人, 她的generosity總是我的榜樣. So tiring today... why do I always make myself so busy, so occupied. Sleep time.... I really need rest.


Miss the food in Taiwan, also 鮮芋仙.

11/5

Yeah... changes come to America.


As I was watching McCain's concession speech from Biltmore Hotel at Phoenix, Arizona, with Kate at Applebee's, I felt speechless.. I was moved by it. So... it's President Obama.

There are times where we need to be encouraging, yet there are times where people just want to hear what they want to hear. 我之前也被經濟嚇到, 覺得這是最嚴重的問題... 不過, 到頭來, 還是敬畏 神最重要, 也是美國最應該奠定的基礎. I'll hold myself unto the belief that God is sovereign, and all things are under His hands. Politics真的不是最重要的, 能站立在話語上, 存愛神愛人的心, 真的需要 神不斷的恩典澆灌. 要為在上掌權的禱告啊.... 我能做的 (1 Tim 2:1-2 I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness).