Sunday, January 29, 2012

2012 Presidential Election

The US presidential election's the end of this new 2012... wondering if I will have time & budget to go back to vote. Wish I can though...

A friend/small group member was asking if putting hands on the Bible and "testify" is a way of swearing oath... which prohibited by the Bible. Looked up Obama's inauguration and only saw he raised his right hand.. I considered it as a way of "affirmation". Oh well, here's President Obama's 2009 inauguration speech (中文翻譯的真好!)

美國第44任總統Barack Hussein Obama就職演說 (中文譯文全文)
2009/01/21
【鉅亨網編輯中心.上海】 美國東部時間 1月20日中午12時左右,美國第44任 總統Barack Hussein Obama發表就職演說,全文如下:
我的同胞們:
今天我站在這裏,看到眼前面臨的重大任務,深感卑微。我感謝你們對我的信任,也知道先輩們為了這個國家所作的犧牲。我要感謝布希總統為國家做出的貢獻 ,以及感謝他在兩屆政府過渡期間給與的慷慨協作。
迄今為止,已經有44個美國總統宣誓就職。總統的宣誓有時面對的是國家的和平繁榮,但通常面臨的是烏雲密佈的緊張形勢。在緊張的形勢中,支持美國前進的不僅僅是領導人的能力和遠見,也在於美國人民對國家先驅者理想的信仰,以及對美國立國檔的忠誠。
前輩們如此,我們這一代美國人也要如此。
現在我們都深知,我們身處危機之中。我們的國家在戰鬥,對手是影響深遠的暴力和憎恨;國家的經濟也受到嚴重的削弱,原因雖有一些人的貪婪和不負責任, 但更為重要的是我們作為一個整體在一些重大問題上決策失誤,同時也未能做好應對新時代的準備。
我們的人民正在失去家園,失去工作,很多企業倒閉。社會的醫療過於昂貴、學校教育讓許多人失望,而且每天都會有新的證據顯示,我們利用能源的方式助長了我們的敵對勢力,同時也威脅著我們的星球。
統計資料的指標傳達著危機的消息。危機難以測量,但更難以測量的是其對美國人國家自信的侵蝕—現在一種認為美國衰落不可避免,我們的下一代必須低調的言論正在吞噬著人們的自信。
今天我要說,我們的確面臨著很多嚴峻的挑戰,而且在短期內不大可能輕易解決。但是我們要相信,我們一定會度過難關。
今天,我們在這裏齊聚一堂,因為我們戰勝恐懼選擇了希望,摒棄了衝突和矛盾而選擇了團結。
今天,我們宣佈要為無謂的摩擦、不實的承諾和指責畫上句號,我們要打破牽制美國政治發展的若干陳舊教條。
美國仍是一個年輕的國家,借用《聖經》的話說,放棄幼稚的時代已經到來了。重拾堅韌精神的時代已經到來,我們要為歷史作出更好的選擇,我們要秉承歷史賦予的寶貴權利,秉承那種代代相傳的高貴理念:上帝賦予我們每個人以平等和自由,以及每個人盡全力去追求幸福的機會。
在重申我們國家偉大之處的同時,我們深知偉大從來不是上天賜予的,偉大需要努力贏得。(我們的民族一路走來),這旅途之中從未有過捷徑或者妥協,這旅途也不適合膽怯之人、或者愛安逸勝過愛工作之人、或者單單追求名利之人。這條路是勇於承擔風險者之路, 是實幹家、創造者之路。這其中有一些人名留青史,但是更多的人卻在默默無聞地工作著。正是這些人帶領我們走過了漫長崎嶇的旅行,帶領我們走向富強和自由。
為了我們,先輩們帶著微薄的細軟,橫渡大洋,尋找新生活;為了我們,先輩們忍辱負重,用血汗澆鑄工廠;為了我們,先輩們在荒蕪的西部大地辛勤耕作,定居他鄉;為了我們,先輩們奔赴(獨立戰爭中的)康科特城和葛底斯堡、(二戰中的)諾曼第、(越戰中的)Khe Sahn,他們征戰、死去。
一次又一次,我們的先輩們戰鬥著、犧牲著、操勞著,只為了我們可以生活得更好。在他們看來,美國的強盛與偉大超越了個人雄心,也超越了個人的出身、貧富和派別差異。
今天我們繼續先輩們的旅途。美國依然是地球上最富裕、最強大的國家。同危機初露端倪之時相比,美國人民的生產力依然旺盛;與上周、上個月或者去年相比 ,我們的頭腦依然富於創造力,我們的商品和服務依然很有市場,我們的實力不曾削弱。但是,可以肯定的是,輕歌曼舞的時代、保護狹隘利益的時代以及對艱難決定猶豫不決的時代已經過去了。從今天開始,我們必須跌倒後爬起來,拍拍身上的泥土,重新開始工作,重塑 美國。
我目之所及,都有工作有待完成。國家的經濟情況要求我們採取大膽且快速的行動,我們的確是要行動,不僅是要創造就業,更要為(下一輪經濟)增長打下新的基礎。我們將造橋鋪路,為企業鋪設電網和數字線路 ,將我們聯繫在一起。我們將回歸科學,運用科技的奇跡提高醫療品質,降低醫療費用。我們將利用風能、太陽能和土壤驅動車輛,為工廠提供能源。我們將改革中小學以及大專院校,以適應新時代的要求。這一切,我們都能做到,而且我們都將會做到。
現在,有一些人開始質疑我們的野心是不是太大了,他們認為我們的體制承載不了太多的宏偉計畫。他們是健忘了。他們已經忘了這個國家已經取得的成就;他們已經忘了當創造力與共同目標以及必要的勇氣結合起來時,自由的美國人民所能發揮的能量。
這些懷疑論者的錯誤在於,他們沒有意識到政治現實已經發生了變化,長期以來耗掉我們太多精力的陳腐政治論爭已經不再適用。今天,我們的問題不在於政府 的大小,而在於政府能否起作用,政府能否幫助家庭找到薪水合適的工作、給他們可以負擔得起的醫療保障並讓他們體面地退休。哪個方案能給與肯定的答案,我們就推進哪個方案。哪個方案的答案是否定的,我們就選擇終止。而掌管納稅人稅金的人應當承擔起責任,合理支出,摒棄陋習,磊落做事,這樣才能在政府和人民之間重建至關重要的相互信任。
我們面臨的問題也不是市場好壞的問題。市場創造財富、拓展自由的能力無可匹敵,但是這場危機提醒我們,如果沒有監管,市場很可能就會失去控制,而且偏袒富人國家的繁榮無法持久。國家經濟的成敗不僅僅取決於國內生產總值的大小,而且取決於繁榮的覆蓋面, 取決於我們是否有能力讓所有有意願的人都有機會走向富裕。我們這樣做不是慈善,而是因為這是確保實現共同利益的途徑。
就共同防禦而言,我們認為國家安全與國家理想的只能選其一的排他選擇是錯的。面對我們幾乎無法想像 的危險,我們的先輩們起草了確保法治和個人權利的憲章。一代代人民的鮮血夯實了這一憲章。憲章中的理想依然照亮著世界,我們不能以經驗之談放棄這些理想。 因此我想對正在觀看這一儀式的其他國家的人民和政府說,不論他們現在各國偉大的首府還是在如同我父親出生地一般的小村落,我想讓他們知道:對於每個追求和平和自尊的國家和個人而言,美國都是朋友,我們願意再次領導大家踏上追尋之旅。
回想先輩們在抵抗法西斯主義之時,他們不僅依靠手中的導彈或坦克,他們還依靠穩固的聯盟和堅定的信仰。他們深知單憑自己的力量我們無法保護自己,他們也深知我們強大並不足以使我們有權利為所欲為。他們明白,正是因為使用謹慎,我們的實力才不斷增強;正 是因為我們的事業是公正的、我們為世界樹立了榜樣,因為我們的謙卑和節制,我們才安全。
我們繼承了這些遺產。在這些原則的再次領導下,我們有能力應對新的威脅,我們需要付出更多的努力、進行國家間更廣泛的合作以及增進國家間的理解。首先,我們將以負責任的態度,將伊拉克交還給伊拉克人民,同時鞏固阿富汗來之不易的和平。對於老朋友和老對手,我們將繼續努力,不遺餘力,削弱核威脅,遏制全球變暖的幽靈。我們不會為我們的生活方式感到報歉, 我們會不動搖地捍衛我們的生活方式。對於那些企圖通過恐怖主義或屠殺無辜平民達成目標的人,我們要對他們說:我們的信仰更加堅定,不可動搖,你們不可能拖垮我們,我們定將戰勝你們。
因為我們知道,我們的多元化遺產是一個優勢,而非劣勢。我們國家裏有基督徒也有穆斯林,有猶太教徒也有印度教徒,同時也有非宗教信徒。我們民族的成長受到許多語言和文化的影響,我們吸取了這個星球上任何一個角落的有益成分。正是因為我們民族曾親嘗過內戰和種族隔離的苦酒,並且在經歷了這些黑色的篇章之後變得更加強大更加團結,因此我們不由自主,只能相信一切仇恨終有一天都會成為過去,種族的劃分不久就會消失,而且隨著世界變得越來越小,我們相信終有一天人類共有的人性品德將會自動顯現。在迎接新的和平時代到來的過程中,美國需要發揮自己的作用。
思索前方的路,我們無時無刻不在銘記那些遠征沙漠和偏遠山區的英勇美國戰士,對他們充滿了感激之情,他們和那些安息在阿靈頓國家公墓之下的戰爭英雄們 一樣,給與我們啟示。
我們尊敬他們,不僅因為他們是自由的守護者,還因為他們代表的是為國家服務的精神,他們自願追尋比自身的價值更偉大的意義(美國國家之偉大)。此時此刻,在這個要塑造一代人的時刻,我們需要的正是這樣一種精神。
因為無論美國政府能做多少,必須做多少,美國國 家的立國之本最終還是美國人的決心和信念。于防洪堤壩決堤之時收留陌生受難者的善意,於在經濟不景氣的時候寧願減少自己工時也不肯看著朋友失業的無私,正是他們支撐我們走過黑暗的時刻。消防隊員沖入滿是濃煙的樓梯搶救生命的勇氣,父母養育孩子的堅持,正是這些決定了我們的命運。
我們面臨的挑戰也許是新的,我們應對挑戰的措施也許也是新的,但那些長期以來指導我們成功的價值觀 ——勤奮、誠實、勇氣、公平競爭、包容以及對世界保持好奇心,還有對國家的忠誠和愛國主義——卻是曆久彌新,這些價值觀是可靠的。他們是創造美國歷史的無聲力量。我們現在需要的就是回歸這些古老的價值觀。 我們需要一個新的負責任的時代,一個覺醒的時代,每個國人都應意識到即我們對自己、對國家和世界負有責 任,我們不應該不情願地接受這些責任,而應該快樂地承擔起這些責任。我們應該堅定這一認識,即沒有什麼比全身心投入一項艱巨的工作更能鍛煉我們的性格,更能獲得精神上的滿足。
這是公民應盡的義務,應做出的承諾。
我們自信源於對上帝的信仰,上帝號召我們要掌握自己的命運。
這就是我們自由和信仰的意義,這也是為何不同種 族、不同信仰、不同性別和年齡的人可以同聚一堂在此歡慶的原因,也是我今天能站在這裏莊嚴宣誓的原因, 而在50多年前我的父親甚至都不能成為地方餐館的服務 生。
所以,讓我們銘記自己的身份,鐫刻自己的足跡。 在美國誕生的時代,那最寒冷的歲月裏,一群勇敢的愛國人士圍著篝火在冰封的河邊取暖。首都被佔領,敵人在挺進,冬天的雪被鮮血染成了紅色。在美國大革命最受質疑的時刻,我們的國父們這樣說:
「我們要讓未來的世界知道……在深冬的嚴寒裏, 唯有希望和勇氣才能讓我們存活……面對共同的危險時 ,我們的城市和國家要勇敢地上前去面對。」
今天的美國也在嚴峻的寒冬中面對共同的挑戰,讓我們記住國父們不朽的語言。帶著希望和勇氣,讓我們 再一次勇敢地面對寒流,迎接可能會發生的風暴。我們 要讓我們的子孫後代記住,在面臨挑戰的時候,我們沒有屈服,我們沒有逃避也沒有猶豫,我們腳踏實地、心懷信仰,秉承了寶貴的自由權利並將其安全地交到了下 一代的手中。
My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presiden tial oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken ami dst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply beca use of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have be en lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face a re real. They are serious and they are many. The y will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our endur ing spirit; to choose our better history; to car ry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obs cure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom .
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of s tanding pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick our selves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to creat e new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for grow th. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and col leges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we wil l do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this countr y has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common pur pose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And th ose of us who manage the public's dollars will b e held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital tru st between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favor s only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expand ed by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peop les and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village wher e my father was born: know that America is a fri end of each nation and every man, woman, and chi ld who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convic tions. They understood that our power alone cann ot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as w e please. Instead, they knew that our power grow s through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility a nd restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat , and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror an d slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christ ians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark cha pter stronger and more united, we cannot help bu t believe that the old hatreds shall someday pas s; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off d eserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians o f our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in s omething greater than themselves. And yet, at th is moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhab it us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent 's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and h onesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things ar e old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our characte r, than giving our all to a difficult task. This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across t his magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfi res on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the out come of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world... that in th e depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the countr y, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."
America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it s afely to future generations.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

2012 一月台灣總統選舉

從回台灣後,第二次遇到台灣選舉 (: 雖然我支持的小英沒有中選,不過我想 神有祂更美好的旨意~ 盼望馬總統做個行公義,好憐憫,存謙卑的心與 神同行的好領導!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

愛情步步走 『llc 婚姻系列 愛情方程式』

- 有效活在愛中的三個祕訣:1) 有效地處理差異與衝突 2) 刻意經營關係 3) 發展健全的關係(後兩個字是猜的 ^^)


入口(委身一:交托給 神)友誼(預備期) -> 出口1 (委身二:堅定尋求 -> 同心尋求)戀愛 (尋求期)-> 出口2 (委身三:決定終身)戀愛 (肯定期。。將婚期)-> 出口4 (委身四:婚姻盟約,結婚) -> 婚姻 (已婚期)


約會的藝術


1. 約會的目的:男女花時間在一起,以了解他們是否適合進入婚姻。
   1) 促進彼此的認識和了解,希望雙方關係可以越來越好。
   2) 透過約會的過程讓自己跟對方變得更健康,更成熟。
2. 評估品格:要了解一個人的品德需要真正的智慧和時間。
   如何評估自己(和一個人)品格?1) 他和 神的關係 2) 他如何對待他人 3) 他如何律己
3. 關於約會:
- 約會是人生最快樂的相聚之一,因為約會是讓愛滋長的活動。經由約會,相愛的人
以此認識,彼此了解,彼此幫助。(猜的... should be from 彭懷真 1998)
- 約會是一門很大的藝術,是需要去學習的。
- 從約會的目的看:以結婚為目的的戀愛交往約會觀,而非以要滿足自我、為了炫耀、人家有我也想要有等。是要增加彼此互動的機會,以促進了解。


約會四步曲:
階段    形式                   狀態
一      團體的約會        雙方開始彼此認識、最好透過團體方式(大->小)
二      一對一的約會    嘗試性的!若能產生好感,才再繼續下去
三      持續性的約會    頻率增加!但關係還曖昧,沒有肯定下來
四      固定的約會        同進同出,不應接受其他人的邀約


約會造成意亂情迷?
歌二7 耶路撒冷的眾女子啊,我指著羚羊或田野的母鹿囑咐你們:不要驚動、不要叫醒我所親愛的,等他自己情願(註:“不要叫醒云云”或作“不要激動愛情,等他自發”)
1) 對「性」應有之心態:
  - 避免淫行:太五21-26
  - 在「性」這事上,絕不試探自己或對方能把持得住
  - 避免二人單獨獨處
2) 三不原則
   不關門 -> 不脫衣 -> 不躺下 (約31:1 我與眼睛立約)


4. 約會的邀約與拒絕
- 約會的邀約:健康心態「我有權利提出我的邀請,對方也有權利做出屬於他的決定。」透過區牧的意願,由教會牧長監督,鼓勵剛認識就要先__?


- 不傷人的委婉拒絕
1) 感謝對方的邀請
2) 溫和而堅定的說明自己沒有意願
3) 讚美對方邀請過程中的優點
4) 說明自己可以接受對方當朋友的程度
5) 說明自己可以接受的方式


- 為未來保留機會的委婉拒絕
1) 感謝對方的邀請
2) 告訴對方這次不行,但何時較有空
3) 讚美對方的優點,表達自己對這些優點的欣賞
4) 分享自己有興趣的活動和事物
5) 順著對方的話題聊一下天,說一些自己的看法和感受
6) 對拒絕對方表示抱歉,或許下次有機會


5. 約會的經營:(約會是需要學習的!)
1) 分享自己,發現自己,找回自己
2) 學習如何表達和溝通
- 出席禮貌:準時赴約,保持尊重。不遷就,也不勉強。注意基本禮貌,送女生回家或送至車站。
- 約會的穿著:自然、整潔、合宜、按場合準備、不要過度暴露誘發對方衝動。(希10:24 視他人貞潔為自身責任)
- 約會地點
1) 「約會要在看得見(生人),又看不見(熟人)的地方,避免和對方在獨自房間內」
2) 學習保護自己、先告知親友時間、地點
3) 關鍵:若無用心安排約會內容,很容易進入身體的親密。



- 談話的內容
1) 不要只談外在事物、閒聊、。。等,也要有內在的討論和分享
2) 欣賞讚美對方要具體
3) 為免造成錯誤認識或委屈,要明確表達。言行談吐以自然為宜,不要嬌柔造作
4) 不必勉強自己去扮演對方期待的角色!也應尊重對方不再背後評頭論足

- 經費分擔
1) 立志過儉樸的生活
2) 一起制訂約會預算
3) 學習做金錢的好管家

- 結論:積極經營約會
1) 接受戀愛輔導 (應該是)
2) 有計畫的約會       
3) 每次約會前:先禱告,求主掌權
4) 制訂約會約定:a. 親密尺度 b. 金錢支付原則 c. 約會方式 d. 回家時間

6. 約會後的省思
1) 對方是否真誠、務實的面對?是否願意不斷的澄清彼此差異和期待?
2) 他/她有sense嗎?
3) 自己心中是擔憂多?還是喜悅多?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

男女大不同 - 「愛情方程式」

1. 差異的影響
*衝突因誤解而生,誤解多因差異而生。差異有很多種:年齡、種族、城鄉、宗教、個性、出生年代、原生家庭、出生次序,在眾多差異中,一個非常主要的差異是特質差異。(以下有些有空格部份沒有說到,所以我稍微自行加入可能的字眼,或跳過沒記錄下來)


2. 男女基本特質差異:
特質                             男性                                                            女性
生理              較強壯,易恢復體力                               較軟弱,每月有週期
腦部運作      右腦運作(左->右),一次一件            左腦運作(同時),多件一起來
個性傾向      客觀,較遲鈍                                           主觀,較敏感
                      相信,不很需要伴侶                               多疑,需要伴侶
心智思考      邏輯,理性,較廣的思考                       情緒,直覺,窄的思考
                      注重原則,較理論化,較有遠見           注意細節,較愛發問,較有人情味
判斷              不輕易下結論                                           很快下錯誤的決定
自我價值      重事業,以事業為導向                           重家庭,以家庭為導向
性刺激          經由視覺(眼睛)激起反應(像電燈)經由溫言細語及感覺(像熨斗)
溝通              傳達訊息及構想(頭)                           表達感覺和情緒(心)
開玩笑          很喜歡                                                       不一定能接受
需要              需要被愛慕及被尊重                               較需要被愛與被接納被保護
                      需要被鼓勵及肯定                                   需要安全感
愛的表現      較冷淡,感情確定後,勇往直前猛追   需較慢發展愛情,等候被愛
                      容易作決定                                               遲疑不決
衝突時          不耐煩或兇                                               情緒不穩,報復
易犯的錯誤  自我為中心,驕傲,自私                       挑剔,嫉妒


3. 男女互動上的差異:
較傾向於                      男人                                 女人
較難忍受                     被shamed                         被abandoned
生命兩大心裡需求     unconditional acceptance  being the most loved
親友遇到困難時         problem solving                provide empathy
面對壓力時                 較需要別人給空間         較需別人給予同情與親密感 (closeness)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

約會計畫(台北llc婚姻系列 - 愛情方程式)

目的:每次約會結束後,能更認識對方。


時間:
1.  一週一次或二次,或多或少(次數多寡依個人時間多寡而定)
2. 每一次二小時(不包含交通來回時間)姊妹不要太晚回家(最好不要超過晚上十一點)


場合:
1. 公開場合,不是太暗或無人煙之地。
2. 可安排遠距離(時間較長時)或近距離之各種約會地點。
3. 可列出台北市近郊或郊外所有可以去的地點,做為參考。
4. 例如:國家音樂廳、劇院、餐廳、書展、運動場、公園、美術館、茶坊、咖啡屋。。。等。


方式:
常拜訪雙方家人,一起服事,共同參加短宣隊,運動,爬山,游泳,郊遊,看電影,聽音樂會,一起讀書,散步,逛街,談心。。。等。


談論主題內容:
1. 信仰:重生得救的經歷、信仰歷程中的重要轉淚點、一起讀經禱告、靈修生活或聚會主題心得分享、一起讀一本屬靈書籍並分享、服事經歷分享。。。等。
2. 家庭:家庭背景、生活、家人、家庭習俗、習慣、傳統(過年過節)、成長過程。。。等。
3. 生活:喜好、習慣、方式、細節、作息表、興趣、休閒方式。。。等。
4. 個性:二人之差異、相同之處、處理事情之方法及心態。。。等。
5. 工作:同事、工作內容、難易之處、期待、抱負、發展。。。等。
6. 思想:人生目標、價值觀、對下列各種事情之觀念、政治、時事、經濟、社會、美術、敬拜方式、對未來之計畫及盼望。。。等。
7. 情緒:表達方式。。。等。
8. 代禱:為彼此、家人、小組、教會、眾教會、國家、宣教士、教會傳道人。。。等。
9. 行動:關懷他人之實際行動、僕人服事、孤兒院、獨居老人。。。等。
10. 健康:身體狀況。。。等。

約會的藝術 (愛情方程式 - 台北llc婚姻系列)

下列決定可作個人約會標準的借鏡。藉著真誠的立志向主表示心願。 Template for your reference.


個人約會的標準


主,我願意:
1. 只和基督徒約會(林後六14,羅八16)
   假如兩人都沒有接受 神的靈進入他們的靈裡,兩人在屬靈方面就無法合一。
2. 照 神的心意,尋找與我生命方向相同的人,並且容 神繼續帶領我們。
  (西一28 - 29)並且幫助對方在基督裡成長。
3. 以 神所悅納的標準對待對方(帖前四3-8)
   用聖潔的方式對待彼此,不放縱私慾。
4. 以榮耀主的事情作為我們約會活動的原則(西三17,林前十31)
5. 竭力培養且自然流露 神在我生命中的一些品格(詩三七4)
   使我在 神認為我非結婚不可之時能夠承擔丈夫/妻子/父親/母親的責任。(當你有了這些品格不愁 神不把祂的選擇介紹給你)
6. 照著主的心意暫不結婚,直至祂的時候來臨(路二二42)
   並且在我們的感情發展到談婚論嫁的階段時,樂意與雙方家長討論我們的計畫。
7. 在雙方家長完全同意之下,才和我的終身伴侶成婚(弗六1-3,箴二一1)
   父母不喜歡你所愛的人或不准你兩成婚,並不一定等於你不應該和此人結婚。許多時候因為父母察覺到你身上有某些不成熟的態度,才不贊同這樁婚事,一旦你在這些事情上有所改進,他們就會准許你們結婚。
注意:婚姻並非僅是兩人的結合而已,實際上是兩個家庭的結合。切切謹記尊重父母的權柄(意見和勸告),否則後果堪慮,因為此事對你自己的兒女甚至孫兒都有直接的影響。
8. 敏銳 神所定的結婚時間:包括經濟、家庭、關係等各種客觀條件的成熟(腓四19)
   經濟上應有起碼的穩定性,使丈夫能承擔養妻育兒的責任(弗五28-29),而妻子也信得過 神能透過丈夫供應自己。


立約人 簽名:__________________
日期: ________________________

(: 新的一年,重新出發!

寒冷寧靜的夜晚,我有好多話想說~ 但是已經11:33PM了 ><


本來只想默默的看著小學好朋友的blog得知她不定時的近況,但今晚。。。忍不住回了她低落心情的一個blog entry and be open to her about myself... :D not sure how it will turn out, but truly hope that God will reveal more of Himself to her, as my recollection was that her family has all came to accept Jesus as their Savior since I remembered. In fact, she was one of my first recognized friend ever who's a Christian. Oh well, I'm glad I revealed my identity this way =p


Secondly, it's time to think about my resolution/prayer for 2012... oh yeah, PRAY!