My energetic & optimistic mom!

It's interesting knowing my mom reads my blog!! (: She's training her technology skills acquisition to a more advanced level.... and so she starts blogging (well, setup her blog) and reads my blog! lol My mommy is such an energetic lady... who's always psyched up no matter whatever she's doing, cooking, learning English, talking, waking me up, holding my hands while strolling, making appointments for her feet surgery, having casual talk with others.... all the time! She's such a joyful person~ (: I can envision myself becoming more like her over the years...


Am I living like a follower of Christ? Being authentic....? Not lately... Lord, show me what I need to change, and gimme the strength to change.... it's really a great msg from GEFC (thanks to my friend Samuel providing the link) - Finding Fresh Joy in God

Worldcup 2010

Graffiti by a winner from Taiwan I believe..... 2010!

就是醬~

A few friends constantly follow up my updates, which are very nice of them! :) I wish I have some good reports, but... so far they're just very ordinary changes. I cut my hair REALLY short (莫名的勇氣 =p haven't have a great shot yet... hence no displaying pic on fb), bought a pinky scouter & helmet (: Kinda started working at home, still exploring through what interests me or what I'm capable of in this alien industry @@). Finally my life is gradually subsiding to a settling phase... well, maybe after this Wed? Where I'll work everyday like a 'robot' ^^" (truly hope to find my role in this working environment... passionately OR getting a part-time job somewhere else and do it with passion?) ANYHOW, I try not to place too much passion before determination.. or before responsibility, whatever you call it to make a living. Though I still wish to make my future career/job so passionate, I don't wanna become a "strawberry generation" where I'm susceptible to pressures and intolerable to stress >< Gonna take care the affidavit of driver license tmr, then... mom's feet surgery and Joella's visit. Meanwhile.... I really hope to find a suitable church & small group. Can't stand wandering around like a lost child without resting in a church as if living in a spiritual home!!! Also... 屬靈同伴! ^^ 唯有 神的話可以使我不再覺得迷失... 所以, 之後也需要知道怎樣調整我的生活作息.... which in alignment with my principles. (:

Swimming class!

Never thought I would wanna pick up swimming again... it has never been my favorite sports/exercise at any rate, but the ambition to lose weight has aspired me to overcome my water-phobia!! =p Praise God that I'm not alone in taking the lessons... my cousin Rita is joining me, yay! 非常不習慣跟在路地不同的呼吸方式 - 鼻子吐氣, 嘴巴吸氣. 目前開始了自由式跟仰式... 今天喝了比較多的水, 耳朵也覺得被水給淹沒了... 腿酸到不行~! 我之前自己玩仰式腿都像是在踩腳踏車一樣, 而這.... 是錯誤的!! @@ 我還覺得自己腳踩得快, 前進也快說... 結果一換成潑水式, 腿都覺得不是自己的了... ><

對了, 總算昨天去了夢寐以求的關子嶺享受景大的hot spring..... 超棒!!!!!! LoL 有好像11個不同的堂, 檜木池, 礦泥等... =D 好玩喔~~ 期待每個月都能去一次享受跟放鬆 haha

Perspectives

Was very privileged to have my mom as my listener this time. Used to be restrained from sharing much with her, but it was a constructive talk. I guess my mom is the ONLY person on the whole planet who thinks I'm not that heavy ^^" haha not the main point of our whole conversation, yet hearing a complete opposite viewpoint on things can really help me get things in perspective. One thing stood out was to NOT view things from the world's perspective... and often we, at least I, fall into this trap! ><


Plan an immense change... physically and strategically! :) Super exciting for the new changes!

自言自語

當初為了"敬拜主領"的網站開啓時, 才再次決定要開放遊覽我此blog的permission... 其實很掙扎, 因為覺得這個blog就像是我的日記, 我可以隨意倒我任何心裡的話, 而不擔心悶在心裡的話沒處訴說... 然而, 似乎當想要的兩方起衝突時, 我知道我需要做取捨了.. 想要讓worship/praise leadership的blog更生活化後, 難免免不了要攤開這一面的自己. 其實也只有關心的人才會往這裡看吧, 但還是忍不住心裡的小擔憂, 似乎仍想要一部份的想法, 只留給我願意分享的人看, 而不是大辣辣的公開化. 

我慢慢知道自己回來淺意識覺得不自在的點是甚麼了... (某方面的我是很後知後覺的... 只有個反應, 卻不知道那個反應是從何而來的). 大致上來說, 應該是我太熟悉之前國外的環境跟步調; 一切是那麼的在我的手中, 在我的計畫中進行. 大小事上, 不論是花多少時間&精力關心小組新朋友, 約老朋友關心碰面聊天, 慢步的時間與路線, 家裡所有文件上的處理, 享受邊聽音樂邊做面膜, 煮飯與不煮飯的自由, 一切所需的條理順序, 控制生活大小層面的主導權... 等等, 都是這麼的習慣跟自在, 所以即使是忙碌, 卻覺得忙得有條理, 有規矩. 而回來呢, 不再是一個人, 除了一家人, 還有公司, 大小親戚, 新環境... 悶熱的天氣讓我覺得衣服很緊, 所以之前沒特別覺得自己肥胖的這時, 也忍不住對身上的肉有很多的想法跟意見, 搞得很難開心起來... 吃也不敢吃. 想到處走走, 也在沒啥朋友的狀況下, 更是讓愛social的我覺得很受限. 雖然回來的一切都是要"重建", 卻覺得沒有之前擁有那樣的好起點.. 可能抱怨太多了... 所以, 證實了我極需要個能讓我成長及hold accountable的小組與教會.... I need spiritual covering!!!! ><

-人的過去真的無法改變了吧, 雖然很希望某部份的那個記憶能失去, 但是.. 夢裡又再次證明, 妳只能改變現在的自己, 不能改變自己的過去.
-期許下禮拜開始的游泳課, 能讓我改變些我能改變的.
-我沒有的東西是無法表現出來的, 所以.. 希望我能盡量表現出正常, 合宜的那一面, 特別在"對"的人面前....
-工作其實有時真的是一成不變的. 要學習在要做的事情上委身, 卻又持有夢想&願意調整, 更新的心意.
-回台灣要... 不怕麻煩! -> by far the hardest!
6.5.10 11:44pm

Insecurity

I guess only when I'm away I realized how vulnerable I am.... or how dependent I used to be in my comfortable surroundings. Though comparing to my brother, I'm considered quick to adapt to the new surroundings, I still find the process struggling... especially now that I recognized what a limited network I have in Tainan, I felt trapped; stuck inside the town that I neither felt familiar nor distant, it's a weird, mixed feelings of all kinds. I guess I've came this far to discover my insecurity, to admit... that I've relied on myself, my routines, my accustomed lifestyle back in Los Angeles for sooo long. Now's the time to examine my heart, my faith, my security... whether it's placed upon His unfailing love, His way of "life security."

Yes, I desperately need friends in Tainan, friends that I can speak to freely, friends that I can count on and vent about my emotions when I feel upset about the new culture, the new surroundings, or simply, me! Lord, lead me to find the suitable church, the church I can grow in as well contribute to. Lead me to make right decisions in prioritizing my time, my energy, and my future with an eternal perspective. Gotta keep up my devotion... :) 我要單單以祢為樂, 做祢眼中的義人, 教導我, 主!

6.2.10 3:20PM